I'm so confused. I'm so so confused. I think I'm going to call some of my friends from college today. Chat with them for a while. Call some friends from church and have a little chat. Whenever I return to A. I feel so so isolated at times and when you do something stupid. I mean really if I did something so bad that all communication is blocked I don't know. I'm sorry. Losing a friend when I have never forcible lost a friend before kinda hurts and the person is so nice that you can't possible fault them for it means that you obviously are the one in the wrong and I don't know what I did I really don't. I mean I talk to much I have a tendency to babble. I'm usually not nosy but I have nosy of late. I guess I was annoying because I tried to get people to come to an MK session at my house. Which completely fell through what the heck am I leper now.
I'm just delusional that's it. My perception of what is going is just warped. I live kinda in a virtual world for about 2 to 3 months out of the year. Do only way that I communicate with most people is through emails and AIM even if they are less then 30 minutes away. Most of my friends are not online much over the summer months they have jobs and I don't ane even after that they have boyfriends and a license and I don't (loser). Not about the boyfriend though. I mean with the state I'm in that's a totally out of the question. Besides to be honest I'm not looking to good right now either.
I don't know I'm not trying to share all my business but I see this journal as an outlet and although you may think your getting the whole picture your only getting a refraction of what is going on inside this head.